My awesome Lyft driver: Barry.
Barry, 60, hails from Long Island. He had a company based in China for 30 years, which he sold a couple of years ago to a dude who owns the Waldorf in NYC. Same dude is building another Waldorf in LA., though it won't have a rotating lounge.
"He also owns Four Seasons," Barry said. "Three of them."
I laughed at the joke he wasn't making.
So basically he's rich and unemployed, and his kids all are adults. And his wife -- whom he met in Hong Kong -- sounds great (If I didn't marry a Chinese girl, I would have been divorced," he says.), but apparently he's bored. So he's driving for Lyft now. In a car he bought specifically for that purpose.
Which makes sense, as his Azure Bentley or "old man Ferrari" probably wouldn't be entirely appropriate.
Unlike a couple of fellow Brentwood CC members who also drive for Lyft, Barry focuses on the Valley because "there's a better class of people in the Valley. Westsiders are too entitled."
What else do we now know about Barry...
He built a 7,000 square foot house in Benedict Canyon. The place has one bedroom and no walls. He also has two pools -- one for humans, one for his dogs.
One dog, Tuffy, is a Roman War Dog. So says Barry.
"The dog is fucking nuts"
Tuffy weighs in at 155, while the other dog, Emily, is a measly 145.
Tuffy will place himself between Barry and unknown persons until he observes friendly behavior/conversation and assumes the stranger is safe. At this point, Tuffy leaves.
"Then you can knife me," Barry says.
His oldest daughter ("his" referring to Barry, not Tuffy) is an exotic-looking, 5-foot-10, 37-year-old, Harvard-educated heart transplant surgeon.
"I thought she was a moron when she was little," Barry said. Apparently she is married. So don't ask.
Lyft works for him because after owning his own company, he can't work for others. And he has repeat customers who regard Barry as "the sickest fuck I've ever known."
In pointing out to a cranky rider that said rider's bad morning wasn't an excuse to be rude, he said, "that's like, 'had a bad day - get the fuck out of my car'."
I was sure to be polite.
He also shared some fun facts:
*Ireland is better for golf than Scotland
*Taiwan mountain tea is made in the mountains of Taiwan. The Chinese premier is a big fan.
*Marco Polo brought tomato, noodle, and garlic from the Far east to Italy.
*Manhattan has better sushi than Los Angeles.
"I'll take you to a place in New York where you'll have the sushi and won't even be able to stand up afterward."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was describing food poisoning.
*"I'm not better than you. I'm luckier than you." - meant as motivational statement. Be lucky. As Roger Daltrey would say. And as Roger Daltrey wasn't re: whatever damn virus led to canceled shows.
Oh, and luck is from Jesus.
Finally, as we reached the terminal, he said, "Let's see where I can get you off at."
I laughed at the joke he wasn't making.
Everything about this is awesome.
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